Advice On New Years Resolutions

The New Year approaches and as it does many of us will be inclined to make some sort of New Years resolution. Being the helpful soul that I am I thought I would offer some suggestions that may help the following people/teams/organizations improve their situations in 2010.


Tiger Woods..... to remain completely faithful to just 6 women. Hey, at least it's a step in the
right direction. I mean, we can't expect the guy to be perfect.


Michael Vick.... to no longer take part in the "wildcat" offense, the name of it is disrespectful to animals. Maybe it could be renamed the "jail break offense",unless that's considered disrespectful to inmates.



Jimmie Johnson.... not to win more than 10 straight N.A.S.C.A.R. championships so that his fans don't have to take off their shoes to count them all. Oh, wait , N.A.S.C.A.R.
fans don't wear shoes. Never mind Jimmie. (Just kidding,I love N.A.S.C.A.R.)


The B.C.S. .... to let the championship be decided on the field and not in some crazy polling system. Hey, instead of actually playing the championship game we could just take a giant poll of football fans and call it the " Zogby Bowl."


The Cleveland Browns... to hire a coach and keep him for ten years no matter what his record. At least that way we will know for sure who to blame if things are no better. A little stability, please.


John Daly.... to reconsider his latest wardrobe. I don't think it's appropriate for a grown man in his condition to be out in public wearing girl's pajamas.


Chad Ochocinco.... to change his name for crying out loud. C'mon, Chad Ochocinco? I mean ,the name Chad has got to go. I think "Numero" goes better with Ochocinco. Numero Ochocinco. Has a nice ring to it.


Urban Meyer, Allen Iverson,and Brett Favre... to actually retire when they say they are retiring. The game of 'Now I retire , now I don't" is getting tiresome. I used to think it was only boxers who did that . Maybe from now on athletes and coaches should only announce that they are going into semi- retirement.


Major League Baseball.... to clean up the steroid mess once and for all, and to restore some credibility to the game and the record books. In the last 2 seasons no player has hit over 50 homers in a season. Does this mean hitters are no longer taking 'roids, or just that the pitchers are taking more of them? It's all so complicated.

Mike Leach.... to find a better way to discipline his players. Hey Mike, I'm sure you were justified in disciplining Adam James, but what ever happened to making a kid run laps or maybe not dress for a game. Leach has made some good decisions at Texas Tech, but locking his receiver in a closet isn't one of them.

Here's hoping that sports fans everywhere make 2010 their best season ever.